The Art of Italian Greetings: When Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Last time we saw the Essential Italian Greetings: How to Say Hello and Goodbye like a Local. Today we are going to delve deeper into the topic.
In this second part of our exploration into Italian greetings, we focus on the ritualistic gestures that define interactions within different situational contexts.
Disclaimer: The intention of this article is in no way to lump everything together. I myself was born and raised in Central Italy and yet I am not an enthusiast of kissing and hugging! My intention is to provide you with the big picture so that you can have a general understanding of Italian customs and habits. This just to highlight that, evidently, more or less extensive nuances may be different depending on the individuality.
Hands and Hearts: The Role of Gestures in Italian Greetings
In Italy, greetings are an art form that engage both hands and hearts. In this article we will focus on how gestures complement words to convey warmth and respect across diverse settings.
Italian cheek kiss
Let’s begin with the most famous greeting gesture: the Italian cheek kiss.
First we learn the rules of conduct. We don’t want to accidentally kiss an Italian stranger on their mouth… or do we?
In many countries where there is the custom of the cheek-kisses, people start kissing the right cheek. Here in Italy, it’s the other way around – almost everywhere. We start kissing the left cheek. Another important factor is how the kiss physically happens: mind your lips! The kiss blows* in the air while the physical contact happens literally cheek-to-cheek! Kissing on the cheek with your lips is a way more tender or even romantic gesture, and technically it’s not a greeting at all. Of course, it can happen between very close friends and family members, or lovers.
Greeting each other with two kisses on the cheeks is the norm here in Italy. It’s a standard gesture used all over the peninsula. Of course, there are some differences between different regions, particularly between north and south.
In the centre and south of Italy it is not uncommon to greet someone you’ve just met with two cheek kisses. If you are unfamiliar with this custom and an Italian kisses you or even hugs you, don’t worry! It’s the standard way many Italians says Hello and introduce themselves!
Let’s find out how this habit actually changes between different areas of Italy.
Northern Italy
Northern regions tend to be more reserved. Here, a more formal handshake is common when meeting people for the first time. Kisses on the cheeks, although present, are generally reserved for good friends and family.
Central Italy
In the centre, including Rome, it is common to greet with two kisses on the cheeks, one on each side. This gesture can be used in both formal and informal contexts, but always with people with whom one is familiar. Anyway, it is absolutely not recommendable in official formal contexts.
Southern Italy and Islands
In the south and on islands, such as Sicily and Sardinia, greetings may be even warmer and more prolonged. It is not uncommon for kisses on the cheeks to be accompanied by a hug. In some areas, even three kisses are used, starting from the right cheek.
Three cheek-kisses
Three kisses as a form of greeting are a less common custom in Italy than two kisses, but can be found in specific regions or in particular social contexts. This type of greeting is more usual in some areas of southern Italy, where social relations tend to be more warm and expressive. For example, in Sicily and Campania, especially in less urban areas, on festive occasions or family gatherings, three kisses may be exchanged as a sign of particularly deep affection.
Notwithstanding these indications, it is important to note that the use of three kisses is not a fixed rule and can vary greatly depending on personal preferences and specific family or friendship dynamics.
Handshake
Although the handshake is a relatively standardised greeting gesture in many countries, it can vary in tone and meaning in different Italian regions, reflecting various cultural nuances and local traditions.
Let’s see how the formality of this gesture can change between different parts of Italy.
Northern Italy
High formality: In Northern Italy, especially in large industrial and commercial cities like Milan and Turin, the handshake tends to be formal and reserved. Here, contact is often rapid and firmly professional.
Business context: In business contexts or formal situations, the handshake is an almost obligatory greeting and is performed with a certain rigour, maintaining a serious expression – or just the hint of a smile anyway – and direct eye contact.
Central Italy
Balance between formality and warmth: In the Centre, including the capital Rome, the handshake is balanced between the formality of the North and the warmth of the South. A firm handshake but with a smile is common, especially in less formal contexts.
Situational differences: In formal contexts, the handshake remains serious and professional, whereas in less formal gatherings it may be accompanied by a light touch on the arm or a warmer expression.
Southern Italy
Warmth and prolongation: In the South and on islands such as Sicily and Sardinia, the handshake often transcends mere formality and becomes a more warm and prolonged gesture.
More personal contact: It is common for the handshake to be accompanied by another hand on the arm or shoulder, or even a hug if the people involved know each other well.
Influencing factors
Age and context: age and social context may also influence the manner of the handshake. For example, young people may prefer less formal greetings even in contexts that would traditionally require more formality.
Events and special occasions: At formal events such as weddings or official functions, the handshake is generally more formal and respectful, regardless of region.
In conclusion, while the handshake is universally recognised as a gesture of greeting in Italy, the manner in which it is performed can say a lot about the regional, social and personal context, offering insights into how different Italians value respect, formality and friendship in their daily interactions.
Non-verbal Communication: Beyond the Gestures of Italian Greetings
Non-verbal communication in Italian greetings includes a number of signals that go beyond simple gestures. Elements such as eye contact, facial expression and posture play a crucial role in how greetings are perceived and interpreted.
Eye contact
Maintaining direct eye contact during a greeting is a sign of respect and sincerity. Avoiding eye contact, on the contrary, can be interpreted as a sign of disinterest or lack of trust. Anyway, we want the direct eye contact not to last too long.
Facial expressions
A smile is a universal element in greetings and communicates openness and friendliness. However, as we have seen before, the intensity and nature of the smile may vary depending on the formality of the situation.
Posture
An open posture, with arms outstretched for a handshake or a hug, suggests helpfulness and acceptance. A closed posture, with the arms crossed, on the other hand, may appear distant or reserved. In formal and/or business meeting it is important to show a straight and proud posture.
Personal Space (Proxemics):
In Italy, the concept of personal space can be quite different from what you might find in more reserved cultures, such as those in Northern Europe or North America. Italians are known for their warm and expressive communication style, which often involves closer physical proximity and more physical contact.
Let’s delve into it.
Cultural Norms of Proximity
- Close Interactions: Italians generally stand closer to each other when talking compared to people from more reserved cultures. This closeness is not only a sign of warmth but also of trust and comfort. In conversations, it is common for Italians to touch each other’s arms or shoulders, and such gestures are usually perceived as friendly and engaging.
- Gestures and Expression: Accompanying this proximity are expressive gestures. As you know, Italians are famous for their animated use of hands while talking.
Variations by Region
- Northern vs. Southern Italy: While all Italians may generally accept closer distances than what might be typical in other cultures, there are still regional variations. People in Southern Italy, for example, are often more comfortable with close personal distances than those in the North. Southern Italians are typically more open to engaging even with strangers in close proximity, whereas Northern Italians might reserve such closeness for family and close friends.
Impact of Context
- Social vs. Formal Settings: In more formal business settings, personal space might be slightly more respected similar to international standards, though still less so than in many other Western countries. In social settings, however, Italians might stand very close, illustrating comfort and familiarity.
Personal Space in Public
- Public Transportation and Queues: In public spaces such as buses, trains, or in queues, Italians might not observe what others consider a ‘personal bubble’. It’s not uncommon for personal space to be quite limited in crowded or public settings, which can sometimes surprise visitors from countries where larger personal space is the norm. And, mind you, Italians are not known for respecting queues….
Adaptation Over Time: Something is Changing
- Changes and Global Influence: With increased globalization and the influence of other cultures, especially in professional environments or among younger generations, there might be a slight shift towards more personal space. However, traditional Italian warmth and closeness remain prevalent in most interpersonal interactions.
Understanding these aspects of non-verbal communication is crucial for learners of Italian or visitors to Italy, as it helps to better navigate social interactions and avoid misunderstandings.
Health Issues: How Covid 19 Changed the Perception
People all over the world had to question a lot of things during the pandemic. One of these – here in Italy and clearly in other countries too – was the way we greet each other.
For a people used to physical contact, cheek-kisses and even hugs, it was difficult to adjust and change these greeting habits. Remember the elbow bump, don’t you?
When the pandemic restrictions were actually over, many people had become more careful – if not hypochondriac – and began to avoid physical contact with people. This has inevitably affected, at least to some extent, the way Italian greetings are perceived and experienced.
The influence of Globalisation and Media
The influence of globalisation and the media, as well as urban dynamics, are significantly shaping the way the younger generations in Italy adapt and sometimes change greeting traditions. These changes are evident in several aspects:
Influence of Media and Pop Culture
Adoption of International Styles: Young Italians are exposed to a wide range of cultures through films, television series, music and the Internet. This exposure has led to the adoption of greetings that are less formal and more influenced by American style or other cultures, such as the use of the ‘high five’, the clenched fist (‘fist bump’).
Social Media: Social media platforms also promote new forms of greetings. For example, the use of emoji or gifs in messages can influence and sometimes replace physical greetings.
Urban Environments
Greater Diversity and Openness: In large urban centres, where there is greater diversity and a constant flow of international influences, young people may be more inclined to experiment and adopt new ways of greeting each other. In cities like Milan or Rome, it is possible to observe a variety of greetings that may not be common in more rural or traditional areas of Italy.
Relaxation of Formalities: The often more impersonal urban environment can lead to a relaxation of formalities in greetings, favouring efficiency or simplicity especially in contexts such as work or during casual encounters.
Globalisation
Influence of International Companions: Increasing global mobility has led many young Italians to study or work abroad, where they learn and sometimes adopt the social conventions of other countries. Upon returning to Italy, these young people may introduce these new styles of greeting into their communities.
International Academic and Professional Environments: Universities and work environments that host an international population can also be places where greeting traditions are modified, with a greater emphasis on a global and inclusive approach.
Changes in Social Norms
Equity and Inclusiveness: New generations, often more sensitive to issues of gender and inclusiveness, may prefer greetings that they perceive as less intrusive or more respectful of personal autonomy, such as a simple nod or verbal greeting.